Hi, there! :)
Holiday is almost over for me and I only have a few days left before school starts. So, I'm a high school student right now. To be honest, I'm freaking out right now. I have a lot of things about high school in my mind. I'm paranoid about the things that will happen to me in the first day of school. I can't stop thinking about the seniors. Every time I think about the seniors, bad things cross to my mind. What will they do to me and the others freshmen?? It's a paranoia of the first day of school.
So, last Sunday, was the first day I stepped my feet at 3 Senior High. I kept telling myself that every thing is gonna be alright and they won't do something that could hurt myself and the others. But still, in the back of my mind, I still have the thoughts of the evil seniors and some things bad about the orientation. Sometimes, I ask myself if I were crazy or something because I can't stop thinking about it until now.
I mean, the orientation is going to be held for a week, including a camp to Cibodas. Well, camping is not a problem for me because I have Dea, who's in the same class with me, and the others. Okay, actually, these all aren't really a problem to me. I have something that I think is worse.
Sometimes, I can see it in my head when I walk in the school hallway. Seniors send glares to me, people talk about me, nobody want to be friends with me, and stuff like those that lead myself into a craziness!! I swear I almost cry when I'm thinking about it. It's like, high school is a nightmare for me. It's like, every things will turn out bad or really BAD in high school. Damn that paranoia!
Ok so I don't wanna talk about it anymore because it sucks and I just don't wanna talk about it. Well, see ya. Wish me luck for my new school O:)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
When Future Takes Over Your Mind
Well, hi! I know it's been a month or more since the last time I blogged here and I'm sorry for that. Actually, I don't even know if people are really reading and checking my blog, but whatsoever. I just like posting here and I'll keep posting even it's only once a month. Well, it depends on my mood. Lately, I'm not in a very good mood. The things that will boost my mood up are only music, Mibba, and somethings about my family. Anyway, let's talk about the thing based on the tittle of this entry.
So, it's already summer, that's what people called it, or 2 weeks short vacations for me and I've been staying in my lovely hometown, Jakarta for like 3 days. Yesterday, my Dad got a call from my Aunt that she wants to talk with me and my brother. Actually, I had no idea about the thing she's going to talk about, but I know I have to meet and talk with her because the curiosity got the top of me. FYI, I can't handle my curiosity and I get curious so easily. Ok back to the topic.
At noon, I got at her house and yada yada yada. I'm too lazy to talk about that intro or whatsoever that called. Let's just get to the point. Oh by the way, this post may be long because I'm going to write what's in my head these few hours. Actually, I'm planning to write it on my diary (what? don't say that you guys aren't writing on diary again) but because I totally forgot to bring it, I decided to just write it here.
My Aunt and her daughter talked with me (and my brother) about the whole high school and college thingy. To be honest I'm so interested in that topic. I just love it when people ask or talk to me about my future and my plans for it. It makes me feel that I have somebody that care about me and my future. They told me to keep my grades up in high school and if I can, I would join AFS. Actually, I don't know what AFS stands for and I'm too lazy (again) to Google it, so you guys can totally Google it and find it by yourself :D (my laziness has taken over of me :p)
AFS. That's the point why I'm writing right now. I got so curious about that AFS thingy and decided to Google it when I got at my Grandma's this evening. Well, my brother has told me a little about AFS before, but I didn't really get his point that time.
So, I opened the official website of AFS and got the official website of AFS's foundation in Indonesia or something like that. Well, you might get my point on that last sentence. So, let's keep on going. I read the news and you know, just surfed that website, trying to get a lot of information about the student exchange stuff. The most interesting thing about study abroad is I'm going to get new experiences, friends, and get out of my comfort zone. That's it. It'll be challenging to live overseas without your parents and sister/brother for 10, almost 11 months. I've been dreaming about that since my brother told me about that which is 2 years ago.
I read Nadya's blog, she's one of the students that got the opportunity to study in Florida, USA for 10 months. I was stunned and a bit shocked when I read her blog. Well, I know that it'll be a long way to get that, but I didn't think that it would be that long. She beat about eight hundreds people, maybe more or less. Then I think about it.
I'll have to beat about eight hundreds people from my own country and I don't think if I can beat them. They must be very smart students on their school while I'm not as smart as them. It's just.... you know, I feel like if I still go for it, it would only waste my time and money because I think I won't get it. I already feel hopeless by only reading her blog about her journey. Yes, I know that I may get a lot of supports from my big family if I try. But what if I fail? I would only make them disappointed, right? :(
Okay, I'm going to stop here before I get too far 'cause I'm already dying and crying a little bit inside by only thinking about it. It sucks :( So, see ya on the next post!
Peace out!,
Lela :)
So, it's already summer, that's what people called it, or 2 weeks short vacations for me and I've been staying in my lovely hometown, Jakarta for like 3 days. Yesterday, my Dad got a call from my Aunt that she wants to talk with me and my brother. Actually, I had no idea about the thing she's going to talk about, but I know I have to meet and talk with her because the curiosity got the top of me. FYI, I can't handle my curiosity and I get curious so easily. Ok back to the topic.
At noon, I got at her house and yada yada yada. I'm too lazy to talk about that intro or whatsoever that called. Let's just get to the point. Oh by the way, this post may be long because I'm going to write what's in my head these few hours. Actually, I'm planning to write it on my diary (what? don't say that you guys aren't writing on diary again) but because I totally forgot to bring it, I decided to just write it here.
My Aunt and her daughter talked with me (and my brother) about the whole high school and college thingy. To be honest I'm so interested in that topic. I just love it when people ask or talk to me about my future and my plans for it. It makes me feel that I have somebody that care about me and my future. They told me to keep my grades up in high school and if I can, I would join AFS. Actually, I don't know what AFS stands for and I'm too lazy (again) to Google it, so you guys can totally Google it and find it by yourself :D (my laziness has taken over of me :p)
AFS. That's the point why I'm writing right now. I got so curious about that AFS thingy and decided to Google it when I got at my Grandma's this evening. Well, my brother has told me a little about AFS before, but I didn't really get his point that time.
So, I opened the official website of AFS and got the official website of AFS's foundation in Indonesia or something like that. Well, you might get my point on that last sentence. So, let's keep on going. I read the news and you know, just surfed that website, trying to get a lot of information about the student exchange stuff. The most interesting thing about study abroad is I'm going to get new experiences, friends, and get out of my comfort zone. That's it. It'll be challenging to live overseas without your parents and sister/brother for 10, almost 11 months. I've been dreaming about that since my brother told me about that which is 2 years ago.
I read Nadya's blog, she's one of the students that got the opportunity to study in Florida, USA for 10 months. I was stunned and a bit shocked when I read her blog. Well, I know that it'll be a long way to get that, but I didn't think that it would be that long. She beat about eight hundreds people, maybe more or less. Then I think about it.
I'll have to beat about eight hundreds people from my own country and I don't think if I can beat them. They must be very smart students on their school while I'm not as smart as them. It's just.... you know, I feel like if I still go for it, it would only waste my time and money because I think I won't get it. I already feel hopeless by only reading her blog about her journey. Yes, I know that I may get a lot of supports from my big family if I try. But what if I fail? I would only make them disappointed, right? :(
Okay, I'm going to stop here before I get too far 'cause I'm already dying and crying a little bit inside by only thinking about it. It sucks :( So, see ya on the next post!
Peace out!,
Lela :)
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