High school is just so tiring. I get a lot of homework everyday and count those exams and silly quiz every single day. And the pressure I get at class and school.... Phew. It's just... I'm glad to be a high school kid but I never thought that it would be this hard and tiring. Sometimes I really feel like wanna pull my hair out. It's just.... so frustrating sometimes :(
So, I've became a high school kid for about 2-3 months right now.... and I don't know how to feel about that. Well, yes, I'm happy. Heck, I'm so happy about it. I got into my brother's former high school and it's just... I think I made my parents a bit proud of me by becoming a student there. Well, I don't really have to worry about that anymore, but the future is the thing I'm worrying about right now.
Again, I'm in the middle of making discussion that would affect on my future. And my teacher just said it to me yesterday morning. I was in the middle of talking with Dea and suddenly the teacher called me along with 3 other students to the teacher's room. I was so surprised that day because I never became one of those students who got called to the teacher's room. And that time, in only a few minutes, I had to make up my mind on everything. I just said 'yes' with tears welling up in my eyes and a grey big cloud in my head. It was so frustrating.
When I got home, I was bombarded by questions from my parents. They asked me if I want it or not, and yeah, they gave me a pep talk about that stuff. They told me to make sure that I make a right decision for myself. Hah. My life couldn't be any worse than this -____-"
OKAY. So let's just stop this. I just gotta have this thing out of my head sooner so yeah I decided to just write here. Besides, I'm just so in the mood to write :) By the way, wish me luck for my exam, test, quiz, and everything related to school :p lol. Soooooo see ya!
Love,
Lela.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Randomness
Hi!
Btw, Happy Ied Mubarak 1432 H for all Muslim in the world (it's actually 7 days ago, but whatev. I just gotta say it) :D
And do you guys realize? I just changed my banner again. Well, it sucks but whatev. I just feel like wanna change it. Because the old ones is kinda boring for me :/
Um... I'm not gonna say anything actually. I've been in a bad mood since last night and felt like don't wanna do anything besides crying my eyes out. I know it's random. I just had a chat with Alya and it only makes it worst. I actually don't know what happened to me but... yeah. This is me. I can't even figure out myself. Oh gosh. I gotta stop.
See ya!
P.S. My current mood:
Btw, Happy Ied Mubarak 1432 H for all Muslim in the world (it's actually 7 days ago, but whatev. I just gotta say it) :D
And do you guys realize? I just changed my banner again. Well, it sucks but whatev. I just feel like wanna change it. Because the old ones is kinda boring for me :/
Um... I'm not gonna say anything actually. I've been in a bad mood since last night and felt like don't wanna do anything besides crying my eyes out. I know it's random. I just had a chat with Alya and it only makes it worst. I actually don't know what happened to me but... yeah. This is me. I can't even figure out myself. Oh gosh. I gotta stop.
See ya!
P.S. My current mood:
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Hung Out with Alya and Dea :D
Hello!!!!!!!!!! So, I'm officially a high school student right now and it's kinda fun! Well, not really. The teachers give us a lot of homework to do and it keeps me busy all the time. Being a high school student ain't easy, I know :( on the other side, my junior high friends and I went to the separate school. It's saddening :(
But, I got a time today and went to Dea's house to hang out with Alya and the others. Well, the plan was Bebe, Miga, Endah, and the others were going to come.... but they didn't show up. Okay, that's fine. Actually, I'm still at Dea's right now. Let me tell you what they're doing right now. Alya is lying on the couch with my phone on her hands and looking up at some pics of her and her ex and laughing at it. Dea is playing her own laptop, twittering, and downloading some things. What a day!
Btw, we took some pics! Wanna see it?
Dea, Me, and Alya! :D
The last one is kinda crazy. Just ignore it xD
By the way, that's all I'm planning to say. So, have a great vacation to all my Indonesians friends because we just got another 2 weeks of holiday! Yeay! Basically, have a great day for everyone! See ya!
But, I got a time today and went to Dea's house to hang out with Alya and the others. Well, the plan was Bebe, Miga, Endah, and the others were going to come.... but they didn't show up. Okay, that's fine. Actually, I'm still at Dea's right now. Let me tell you what they're doing right now. Alya is lying on the couch with my phone on her hands and looking up at some pics of her and her ex and laughing at it. Dea is playing her own laptop, twittering, and downloading some things. What a day!
Btw, we took some pics! Wanna see it?
Dea, Me, and Alya! :D
By the way, that's all I'm planning to say. So, have a great vacation to all my Indonesians friends because we just got another 2 weeks of holiday! Yeay! Basically, have a great day for everyone! See ya!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Blur
Hi, there! :)
Holiday is almost over for me and I only have a few days left before school starts. So, I'm a high school student right now. To be honest, I'm freaking out right now. I have a lot of things about high school in my mind. I'm paranoid about the things that will happen to me in the first day of school. I can't stop thinking about the seniors. Every time I think about the seniors, bad things cross to my mind. What will they do to me and the others freshmen?? It's a paranoia of the first day of school.
So, last Sunday, was the first day I stepped my feet at 3 Senior High. I kept telling myself that every thing is gonna be alright and they won't do something that could hurt myself and the others. But still, in the back of my mind, I still have the thoughts of the evil seniors and some things bad about the orientation. Sometimes, I ask myself if I were crazy or something because I can't stop thinking about it until now.
I mean, the orientation is going to be held for a week, including a camp to Cibodas. Well, camping is not a problem for me because I have Dea, who's in the same class with me, and the others. Okay, actually, these all aren't really a problem to me. I have something that I think is worse.
Sometimes, I can see it in my head when I walk in the school hallway. Seniors send glares to me, people talk about me, nobody want to be friends with me, and stuff like those that lead myself into a craziness!! I swear I almost cry when I'm thinking about it. It's like, high school is a nightmare for me. It's like, every things will turn out bad or really BAD in high school. Damn that paranoia!
Ok so I don't wanna talk about it anymore because it sucks and I just don't wanna talk about it. Well, see ya. Wish me luck for my new school O:)
Holiday is almost over for me and I only have a few days left before school starts. So, I'm a high school student right now. To be honest, I'm freaking out right now. I have a lot of things about high school in my mind. I'm paranoid about the things that will happen to me in the first day of school. I can't stop thinking about the seniors. Every time I think about the seniors, bad things cross to my mind. What will they do to me and the others freshmen?? It's a paranoia of the first day of school.
So, last Sunday, was the first day I stepped my feet at 3 Senior High. I kept telling myself that every thing is gonna be alright and they won't do something that could hurt myself and the others. But still, in the back of my mind, I still have the thoughts of the evil seniors and some things bad about the orientation. Sometimes, I ask myself if I were crazy or something because I can't stop thinking about it until now.
I mean, the orientation is going to be held for a week, including a camp to Cibodas. Well, camping is not a problem for me because I have Dea, who's in the same class with me, and the others. Okay, actually, these all aren't really a problem to me. I have something that I think is worse.
Sometimes, I can see it in my head when I walk in the school hallway. Seniors send glares to me, people talk about me, nobody want to be friends with me, and stuff like those that lead myself into a craziness!! I swear I almost cry when I'm thinking about it. It's like, high school is a nightmare for me. It's like, every things will turn out bad or really BAD in high school. Damn that paranoia!
Ok so I don't wanna talk about it anymore because it sucks and I just don't wanna talk about it. Well, see ya. Wish me luck for my new school O:)
Friday, July 1, 2011
When Future Takes Over Your Mind
Well, hi! I know it's been a month or more since the last time I blogged here and I'm sorry for that. Actually, I don't even know if people are really reading and checking my blog, but whatsoever. I just like posting here and I'll keep posting even it's only once a month. Well, it depends on my mood. Lately, I'm not in a very good mood. The things that will boost my mood up are only music, Mibba, and somethings about my family. Anyway, let's talk about the thing based on the tittle of this entry.
So, it's already summer, that's what people called it, or 2 weeks short vacations for me and I've been staying in my lovely hometown, Jakarta for like 3 days. Yesterday, my Dad got a call from my Aunt that she wants to talk with me and my brother. Actually, I had no idea about the thing she's going to talk about, but I know I have to meet and talk with her because the curiosity got the top of me. FYI, I can't handle my curiosity and I get curious so easily. Ok back to the topic.
At noon, I got at her house and yada yada yada. I'm too lazy to talk about that intro or whatsoever that called. Let's just get to the point. Oh by the way, this post may be long because I'm going to write what's in my head these few hours. Actually, I'm planning to write it on my diary (what? don't say that you guys aren't writing on diary again) but because I totally forgot to bring it, I decided to just write it here.
My Aunt and her daughter talked with me (and my brother) about the whole high school and college thingy. To be honest I'm so interested in that topic. I just love it when people ask or talk to me about my future and my plans for it. It makes me feel that I have somebody that care about me and my future. They told me to keep my grades up in high school and if I can, I would join AFS. Actually, I don't know what AFS stands for and I'm too lazy (again) to Google it, so you guys can totally Google it and find it by yourself :D (my laziness has taken over of me :p)
AFS. That's the point why I'm writing right now. I got so curious about that AFS thingy and decided to Google it when I got at my Grandma's this evening. Well, my brother has told me a little about AFS before, but I didn't really get his point that time.
So, I opened the official website of AFS and got the official website of AFS's foundation in Indonesia or something like that. Well, you might get my point on that last sentence. So, let's keep on going. I read the news and you know, just surfed that website, trying to get a lot of information about the student exchange stuff. The most interesting thing about study abroad is I'm going to get new experiences, friends, and get out of my comfort zone. That's it. It'll be challenging to live overseas without your parents and sister/brother for 10, almost 11 months. I've been dreaming about that since my brother told me about that which is 2 years ago.
I read Nadya's blog, she's one of the students that got the opportunity to study in Florida, USA for 10 months. I was stunned and a bit shocked when I read her blog. Well, I know that it'll be a long way to get that, but I didn't think that it would be that long. She beat about eight hundreds people, maybe more or less. Then I think about it.
I'll have to beat about eight hundreds people from my own country and I don't think if I can beat them. They must be very smart students on their school while I'm not as smart as them. It's just.... you know, I feel like if I still go for it, it would only waste my time and money because I think I won't get it. I already feel hopeless by only reading her blog about her journey. Yes, I know that I may get a lot of supports from my big family if I try. But what if I fail? I would only make them disappointed, right? :(
Okay, I'm going to stop here before I get too far 'cause I'm already dying and crying a little bit inside by only thinking about it. It sucks :( So, see ya on the next post!
Peace out!,
Lela :)
So, it's already summer, that's what people called it, or 2 weeks short vacations for me and I've been staying in my lovely hometown, Jakarta for like 3 days. Yesterday, my Dad got a call from my Aunt that she wants to talk with me and my brother. Actually, I had no idea about the thing she's going to talk about, but I know I have to meet and talk with her because the curiosity got the top of me. FYI, I can't handle my curiosity and I get curious so easily. Ok back to the topic.
At noon, I got at her house and yada yada yada. I'm too lazy to talk about that intro or whatsoever that called. Let's just get to the point. Oh by the way, this post may be long because I'm going to write what's in my head these few hours. Actually, I'm planning to write it on my diary (what? don't say that you guys aren't writing on diary again) but because I totally forgot to bring it, I decided to just write it here.
My Aunt and her daughter talked with me (and my brother) about the whole high school and college thingy. To be honest I'm so interested in that topic. I just love it when people ask or talk to me about my future and my plans for it. It makes me feel that I have somebody that care about me and my future. They told me to keep my grades up in high school and if I can, I would join AFS. Actually, I don't know what AFS stands for and I'm too lazy (again) to Google it, so you guys can totally Google it and find it by yourself :D (my laziness has taken over of me :p)
AFS. That's the point why I'm writing right now. I got so curious about that AFS thingy and decided to Google it when I got at my Grandma's this evening. Well, my brother has told me a little about AFS before, but I didn't really get his point that time.
So, I opened the official website of AFS and got the official website of AFS's foundation in Indonesia or something like that. Well, you might get my point on that last sentence. So, let's keep on going. I read the news and you know, just surfed that website, trying to get a lot of information about the student exchange stuff. The most interesting thing about study abroad is I'm going to get new experiences, friends, and get out of my comfort zone. That's it. It'll be challenging to live overseas without your parents and sister/brother for 10, almost 11 months. I've been dreaming about that since my brother told me about that which is 2 years ago.
I read Nadya's blog, she's one of the students that got the opportunity to study in Florida, USA for 10 months. I was stunned and a bit shocked when I read her blog. Well, I know that it'll be a long way to get that, but I didn't think that it would be that long. She beat about eight hundreds people, maybe more or less. Then I think about it.
I'll have to beat about eight hundreds people from my own country and I don't think if I can beat them. They must be very smart students on their school while I'm not as smart as them. It's just.... you know, I feel like if I still go for it, it would only waste my time and money because I think I won't get it. I already feel hopeless by only reading her blog about her journey. Yes, I know that I may get a lot of supports from my big family if I try. But what if I fail? I would only make them disappointed, right? :(
Okay, I'm going to stop here before I get too far 'cause I'm already dying and crying a little bit inside by only thinking about it. It sucks :( So, see ya on the next post!
Peace out!,
Lela :)
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